40 and Beyond

Yesterday was my fortieth birthday.  I can not believe that I am actually 40.  Not because 40 is really old, but because time is going by SO FAST.  Wasn't I just 25?!  I still feel like I am 25. I guess it is good to feel young, even if the body isn't quite on board.  It was a great day.  I got the above banjo from the family. I have been wanting to learn to play it for so long, that I could barely put it down.  My goal is that by 45, I will be good enough/brave enough to join the Sunday bluegrass jam session at a local restaurant. 

I have also been thinking about how I want to handle to 40s.  A top priority is to take better care of my health; both physically and mentally.  I have a long family history of diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol, etc.  I don't want to go down that road. I figure it is about time I start taking these things seriously and try to avoid them - especially since a lot of them are lifestyle related.

I also want to make sure I utilize my time in ways that are productive and fulfilling.  As the kids are getting older and I only have more more class to take, my schedule is starting to open up.  I am really reflecting on how I want to spend it.  How can I make a difference? What sort of work do I want to pursue? Where do I want to put my volunteer time? I feel blessed that our family is strong and I want to make sure those bonds stay that way.

Any advice for the new decade?  I am very much looking forward to what it brings!

Medical Records

Husband was recently cleaning out some old paperwork.  He came across my childhood Navy medical records.  My father was a navigator for airplanes in the Navy, and we spent my early childhood moving around.  He later transferred to the Reserves and we settled in Iowa for good.  Anyway, I have often asserted that I did have the small pox vaccine.  People kept telling me that it was impossible, because they had phased them out by 1974.  I kept insisting they were wrong.  Well, it appears we are both right.  I DID have the vaccine, but we were living on a Naval base in Spain when I got it.  I am guessing that while they were phased out in the US, military personnel and families (especially overseas) were still being vaccinated. 

The second discovery was the proof that I am, indeed, allergic to tincture of benzoin.  I can not tell you how many times that I have written this down on medical forms to have doctors look at my like I am crazy.  It is only used in very specific circumstance.  For instance, if you have had an epidural, they sprayed your back with it to help the adhesive work better.  It is interesting to note, in the records, those doctors also thought it was something else until they realized it was an actual allergy.  I was around five and remember this very vividly.  I had had surgery on my neck and it completely swelled up. It was awful and not something I ever want to happen again.

Recently, I had to have a mammogram and ultrasound for a suspicious mass.  Everything is fine.  The technician, though, asked me a bunch of questions regarding any previous issues.  In fact, I have had earlier issues including ultrasounds.  She asked me when.  I completely blanked out.  This is something I should know.  She told me that she advises patients to keep a running journal of all their procedures and major medical issues.  It is amazing what you think will remember, but how much you actually forget. So true.  Moral of the story?  Write it down. You are your best advocate and historian.

Friendship

How do you define friendship? Do you put certain parameters and rules on it? Are there expectations that must be met?  I have been thinking about this for awhile.  This year has seen so many losses, I feel a bit adrift.  When I was headed to my friend's memorial service and feeling particularly down and needing to talk, I reached out to a friend who lives an ocean away.  I particularly hate to cry in front of people. It is mortifying for this introvert.  But, I knew F. was the one person who could hear my tears and it would be ok.  And he did, and it was ok. I realized that it doesn't matter if he is in Italy.  Friends don't have to live next door to be there for you.  A friend is there when you need someone to listen and to care.

Hard

I am surprised at how hard I am taking my friend's suicide.  I keep thinking of his daughters who never got to know the awesome person that he was.  Instead they will only know of a father who was distant and estranged and who left them. The memorial service was so hard.  It was hard to see how he had isolated himself, it was hard to see his daughters devastated, and it was hard to know that so many people tried to help and it wasn't enough. Death is so final and it didn't have to end this way.

There is another option

Last night I received the awful news that a former friend had committed suicide.  I am heartbroken.  We haven't had contact in many years as he is the ex-husband of a close friend.  I knew that he had been having problems and wanted to reach out, but in solidarity to C, I did not.  He leaves behind two young daughters who will never get to know what a wonderful person he was.  If you suspect that someone is suffering, please don't hesitate to help.  If you are suffering, please reach out. Suicide is not the answer.

Three Become One

The Central Midwest District Assembly was this past weekend.  For us on the board, it was the culmination of three+ years of work as we dissolved ourselves and merged into the MidAmerica Region. We have now joined with the Heartland and Prairie Star Districts to create a region that can better utilize our resources and talent.  There was a mixture of nervousness and excitement in the air.  So much prep work had be done and I think we would have been devastated if the motion had not passed.  But it did and their were tears of joy.  There is one final step, though.  I hope that all of you who are attending General Assembly this year will vote for the amendment to allow for the wordage of "region" in addition to "district".  It really is a minor change, but will allow for so much more possibilities!

Climate Change and Washington DC

This past week, the family and I traveled to Washington DC.  It was part vacation and part "work".  I am on the steering committee for Missouri Interfaith Power & Light.  The national Interfaith Power & Light was having their national conference, so I decided it would be a great chance for all of us to head east. We were fortunate that Husband's parents were also able to go with us, so the days I was at the conference, they could help Husband with the kids.  Additionally, it was great to have the extra drivers for the 14 hour trek!

We couldn't have planned a better experience.  The drive was smooth, the weather perfect (if not a little hot!), the kids did amazingly well despite the incredibly amount of walking, and the the cherry blossomed bloomed!!  That was just luck. We visited the Spy Museum, Capital, Library of Congress, the monuments, Air and Space, Udvar-Hazy Center (probably the kids favorite), American History Museum, Mount Vernon and Monticello and there was still tons we DIDN'T see!  Such an educational time that I wish every one could have.

The conference was also very inspiring.  There were representatives from most states and religious faiths.  Sometimes I feel like we are working so hard and no one is listening.  The conference reminded me that we (in Missouri) are not alone and we are making progress no matter how incremental.  State affiliates are all at different levels of maturation, but there is hope and there is help.  I am grateful that I got to attend and have returned renewed in my passion that it is important that Missouri have this valuable voice and I will continue to work hard that it is heard.